Pokémon Bastard

Sorry I haven’t updated this lately but I caught a new...

Fri, 07 Dec 2012 22:29:59 -0500

Sorry I haven’t updated this lately but I caught a new Pokémon today.

Finally got to battle Lt. Surge. He was a pushover.

Sat, 17 Nov 2012 15:34:34 -0500

Finally got to battle Lt. Surge. He was a pushover.

Pika Pika mother fuckers.

Sat, 13 Oct 2012 20:50:59 -0400

Pika Pika mother fuckers.

I earned these when I was a child, lost them, and recently...

Tue, 09 Oct 2012 12:17:22 -0400

I earned these when I was a child, lost them, and recently repurchased them on eBay.

I am the Pokémon Bastard.

The questionnaire in the Pokèmarts is the only thing I like...

Wed, 03 Oct 2012 13:27:39 -0400

The questionnaire in the Pokèmarts is the only thing I like about this game.

I’m grinding everybody up to 20+ before boarding the S.S....

Mon, 17 Sep 2012 11:09:49 -0400

I’m grinding everybody up to 20+ before boarding the S.S. Anne. Fuck this fucking game I hate it.

Hee hee!

Fri, 07 Sep 2012 09:17:16 -0400

Hee hee!

Vermillion City Is Full of Disgusting Perverts

Thu, 06 Sep 2012 21:51:31 -0400

So after defeating Misty, I moved on to Vermillion City. In my last update, some pervert showed me his OLD ROD, so my first impressions of this town were bad.

Really bad.

Still, I’m holding out hope because I’ve heard that there’s a Pokémon Fan Club nearby. Since I’ve been denied membership to Team Rocket, I might try to join up with them.

I was greeted by this man:

Yeah, sure. Why not?

Uh, yeah, sure. Rapidash. That fire-horse, right? Pretty cool…?

H-hey settle down, man. Oh God. J-just CHILL OUT!

YES YOU HAVE! I NEED TO GO NOW!!

Okay, so basically an old man just described what it feels like to fuck a horse and then he bought me a bicycle.

Great.

I cannot wait to leave Vermillion City forever.

No I don’t want anything to do with this pervert’s...

Wed, 05 Sep 2012 14:24:46 -0400

No I don’t want anything to do with this pervert’s OLD ROD!! Agh fuck this game!

Danzig and I are getting blazed before we go fight Misty.

Wed, 15 Aug 2012 21:28:56 -0400

Danzig and I are getting blazed before we go fight Misty.

Finally finished with Mount Fucking Moon. Jesus Christ that was...

Wed, 15 Aug 2012 13:48:00 -0400

Puberty.

His onion turned into a pink garlic.

I forget which one is which so I just picked one.

I never want to fight a Zubat again.

Finally finished with Mount Fucking Moon. Jesus Christ that was horrible. God damned Zubats.

God damn it! I had my heart set on joining your gang you dick...

Wed, 15 Aug 2012 12:14:17 -0400

God damn it! I had my heart set on joining your gang you dick head!!

Sounds awesome. Are they recruiting??

Tue, 07 Aug 2012 14:18:00 -0400

Fuck the police.

I want to be famous too!!

Sounds awesome. Are they recruiting??

Me and the Team are headed to Mount Fucking Moon.

Tue, 07 Aug 2012 13:10:00 -0400

Woah, this wasn't in the original.

I got a Mankey and a Geodude.

Me and the Team are headed to Mount Fucking Moon.

Uuh wait what???

Tue, 07 Aug 2012 12:11:45 -0400

Uuh wait what???

Pokémon Bastard - New Kicks

Wed, 01 Aug 2012 10:28:32 -0400

Okay, so I completely shamed and humiliated that pervert idiot Brock. I was leaving town when I ran into this geek:

It was a cool new pair of shoes that let me run! I don’t remember the running shoes from Red/Blue/Yellow. I thought I had to wait to get the bike to go fast. More precious than the bitchin’ shoes though, was a letter from home:

Yeah, take THAT Real-Life Mom! You said I’d never get anywhere playing Pokémon all day in my room instead of finishing college, but Video Game Mom lets me do whatever in the fuck I want AND I GOTTA CATCH EM ALL!!!!

Anyways, back to grinding. Gotta get ready for my next big battle.

pkmnathon: ATTENTION POKéMON FANS AND ARTISTS The Pokémonathon...

Wed, 01 Aug 2012 09:40:28 -0400

pkmnathon:

ATTENTION POKéMON FANS AND ARTISTS

The Pokémonathon is BACK!

Join (or just follow and enjoy) an elite team of talented artists on their challenge to draw ALL POKéMON - or at least the first 151. You may remember the Pokémonathon from its Livejournal incarnation several years ago - if so, you know that all of the art and artists were KICKIN’ RAD! These are some examples from the founding Elite Four of the POKéMONATHON!

Oddish, Cubone, Moltres - oxboxer

Weedle, Zubat/Golbat, Gyarados - skoolmunkee

samuel3k and tobytobitobee will be co-managing and will join in also!

WILL YOU JOIN US? DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES?? THIS CHALLENGE IS NOT FOR THE WEAK OR FAINT OF HEART???

Sorry I haven’t updated Pokémon Bastard in a while. I’ll get on that later. Just popping in to reblog this because we’re doing it again.

I’ll post more about my adventures in Pocket Monsters soon.

Pokemon Bastard - Bringing the Ruckus

Wed, 06 Jun 2012 14:38:41 -0400

Sorry for the delay. Grinding in Pokémon is a bitch and I took a break to play that other Pokémon game I’ve been posting on here lately.

The team so far:

I think I’m ready. We’re ready, especially because Total Tude knows Vine Whip now.

Let’s get this shit done. Suggested listening: Click Here.

Brock says some really gross shit and leaves me no choice but to completely trample his ass.

I kill both of Brock’s Pokémon easily with Total Tude. Each only takes two hits. I’m the Pokémon Champ of the day. Total Tude goes up two levels and learns Poison Something-or-Other and Sleepy-Peepy or something like that.

Now it’s back to more boring fucking grinding so I can go beat up Misty’s Pokémon. I remember this game being a lot more fun.

I finished the second and third gyms. I like how they introduced...

Sun, 27 May 2012 14:46:00 -0400

Water Gym: COMPLETE

Air Gym: COMPLETE

I finished the second and third gyms. I like how they introduced Pokèmon combo moves for gym 3.

I do not remember any of these Pokèmon from when I was a kid....

Sat, 26 May 2012 22:54:16 -0400

I do not remember any of these Pokèmon from when I was a kid. What the fuck is going on??